|
Pfft.
|
May. 9th, 2004 @ 06:49 am
|
|---|
|
Been interesting these last few days...
I emptied my heart out to someone. It wasnt a drunken thing at all, I was sober and knew exactly what I was saying... went well... went very well. But as always theres some small, insignificant but for some reason oh so important reason that has to stand in the way of me and what I want.... talk about depressing...
On other news i was rejected from university, was what I was expecting... but now im feeling terribly lost... I feel like I have nothing to aim for, not just to do with university but with my life. I mean im sat here at 6:59 in the morning, ive been up with another sleepless night, listening to music but doing nothing... I cant find the passion and the dedication to stick at anything, i never really have to be honest.
I feel like I must appologise for writing this, everyone must be bitterly bored with this kind of crap from me, heh, id call myself an emotional teenager but i can only use that excuse for four weeks more, then im the tender age of 20....
My want to draw seems to have disappeared again, not because i dont want to, but because im not good enough, I get people going "you are, you are" but my god are they blind? im not stupid, i can tell when somethings good, and when somethings crap. Its nice to recieve compliments but still...
What am I to do? |
|
Well today has been the first relaxing day I've had all week. Recently has just bee going out, drinking and doing stupid stuff constantly. Today was different, I got a text message from someone I havn't spoken to in ages, good to hear she's doing well and I intend to catch up very soon. Theres a lot of history, but we're both old and mature enough to not let anything get in the way... still makes me think though, that thing I can never have. Such a shame considering how well we get along, and we both know how each other feels... Maybe I'll have the balls to say what I want to say to her one day.... maybe.
I also borrowed a CD today by Sigur Ros called Brackets (just () to be honest). Its so relaxing Ive managed to catch up a whole weeks worth of rest in a day. Im now rested and ready to plod on with that work stuff tomorrow.
Its nice to have more pleasent entries to make now. As soon as my answer from uni comes through the door it might be a little different, should be any day now.
| Opening credits: | Sigur Ros - Track 04 | | Waking up: | Incubus - Aquous Transmission | | Average day: | Dj Shadow - Hermit Kid | | First date: | Blackalicious - Feel That Way | | Falling in love: | Red Hot Chili Peppers - Pretty Little Ditty | | Love scene: | Sigur Ros - | | Fight scene: | NIN - March Of The Pigs | | Breaking up: | Arab Strap - New Birds | | Getting back together: | Mogwai - Take Me Somewhere Nice | | Secret love: | Dj Shadow - Blood On The Motorway | | Life's okay: | Arab Strap - First Big Weekend | | Mental breakdown: | Aphex Twin - Philip Glass Orchestration | | Driving: | Dj Shadow - Mashin' On The Motorway | | Learning a lesson: | NIN - Hurt | | Deep thought: | Skalpel - Dreams Of a Sleepless Man | | Flashback: | Outkast - Hey Ya | | Partying: | Roni size - Destination | | Happy dance: | rocket From The Crypt - On A Rope | | Regreting: | Aimee Mann - Wise Up | | Long night alone: | Cowboy Bebop - Space Lion | | Death scene: | NIN - Something I Can Never Have | | Closing credits: | Jeff Buckley - Best Of Me |
Your Life: The Soundtrack brought to you by BZOINK!How I'm Feeling::  relaxed What's playing:: Sigur Ros - Track 04 |
|
Okay, first things first. Heres my recent artwork. It looks pretty shit from this picture, ill scan it in when i can be bothered to prove its not tooo bad ^^ I will imporove... I hope.
Anyway, sit down boys and girls, get yourselfs a nice cup of tea as uncle Haydn has a funny story to tell you all.
Last night, like most nights, ended up as a drinking session... but this time it was in an 80s bar where it was £2 for 2 pints, bargain!!! The night went on, was very good fun, it came to the end and I left. I got home and as far as I can remember I had some food and went to bed, but oh no... the next morning im woken up by my family laughing at me, I thought it was a little odd... my mother walks in grinning to herself and said "you dont remember do you?"... At this point my heart sunk, there was going to be some terrible story that would be held against me for years to come, and yes, yes there was... apparently when I got home I was a little drunk, and a little confused... I got undressed and climbed into bed.... which turned out to not be my own. Apparently in my drunken state, at 3.30am i climbed into bed, stark naked next to who will be my step dad (Les)!! After much laughter and mocking I was escorted to the bathroom where I threw up and passed out.
Im sure posting this story on the internet is not the cleverest idea in the world, but damn its funny. Les has only been here since christmas and now he cant look me in the face without laughing.
How will I ever live this down =] |
|
Haha, what a mess. Doesn't the sexy Sainsbury's bag just steal the show ^^ |
|
Okay, so there comes a time when you've got to decide what the fuck you actually want to do with your life. I thought I'd sussed it all out, but I was wrong... things dont go the way you plan, and I'm learning to face the fact that I may not succeed in life, in the way that we are all told to aspire to.
Now, I've decided to go back to basics, to what is important to me, and what makes me happy in my life...
Drawing. since I was young I've loved drawing, and as the years have gone on I've found less and less time to draw. as Ive got older i developed a bigger desire to draw graffiti over characters and anime. I needed some inspiration, so I've found all the images i think are fantastic, and begun to print them off/cut them out, and stick them all in one book. So far its working like a charm and Im getting this creative feeling back. I hope to post a few pictures here if i ever feel they're worth a public view hehe.
Socialising. I enjoy going round a friends house, chilling out and having a spliff, fact. But due to college/work blah blah blah I havnt had enough time to enjoy it. So now Im going to make an effort to see people a little more, those who ive drifted apart from and havnt seen for a long time. A lot of the people who make up me, arent around any more. I need to set that right.
Anyway, thats enough ranting for one day I think. Im not at college due to a killer back problem, but I need to stop using things as an excuse... so im going to do some work *shudders*.
Later everybody.How I'm Feeling::  artistic What's playing:: Kid Koala - Skanky Panky |
| » So much for that. |
|---|
Well my interview went shit, damn fat bastard (no offense to fat people, your all lovely ^^) interviewer wouldnt even look at me, and was barely paying attention.
So now ive decided that the best way to drown my sorrows is to go out and drink heavily, and smoke lots of gear whenever I get the chance. Seeing as its sunny It would be rude to not make the most of it.
There is a high point of the past week though, and thats how good is playing the old school NES!? ^^ Mario Brothers, everyone remember where each world was like a grid, with each level numbered and you could fight each other for their items. Then there was extras like having to fight this annoying enemy with boomarangs.... Its like going in a time warp, I love it.
Well, thats it for me, not a lot else to say right now, best go out into this crazy thing called the real world and see whats going on.
Apr. 24th, 2004 @ 05:05 pm
|
| » Just like me... |
|---|
Things didnt go so well for me recently, you can tell by the fact that im sat in my room, at 3:17am, in the dark because my lights broken, with my sketchpad on what space is left on my poxy little computer desk infront of me, trying in vain to scrape together something worthwhile to call this elusive thing called "work". In one day i managed to run out of ink, break my scanner, run out of batteries for my wireless mouse (when the shops were shut i might add), realise all ink cartridges were sold out in what seemed like the whole world, and get my cat (which got a swift kick) crapping on one of the few pieces of work id printed off. Now Im usually a kind optimistic guy, but when in your whole room, when theres plenty of space to shit on if you so please, why pick the one spot which is truley worth something to me at this point. the harder i work the worse things get. Ive decided that god is up there, with his giant holy god stick, poking me and laughing while playing a jolly game of golf with our beloved Bob Monkhouse. Maybe im destined to not make it this year, maybe 2004 will be the year i can look back on and go "jesus christ, saddam with a grenade in his mouth stood more of a chance in succeeding in life than i did".
You'll have to excuse the somewhat crude style of writing this has turned out to be, its not funny and its not clever. i simply dont feel like adding any personal censorship to this message. I wont read it over either incase my conscience kicks in and i make changes. Maybe.... maybe I should get some sleep... ive been up till 5/7am for along time now, and to answer the question on my own picture... yes, i am very tired.
Apr. 20th, 2004 @ 03:10 am
|
| » Panic, Panic, Panic!!! |
|---|
This Uni interview thing is starting to get to me, it's this Tuesday and Im kicking myself about it. I cant blag my way through this one...
Can't blow it, it's my best chance to get out of this town ^^
On on happier note, I've found Lineage 2 to be a good game to use up my time (in between killing the US on Vietcong hehe). I think everyone should get it, and search for my Orc character Hjal on the Erica server.
It's 2:18 in the afternoon, I've been up for 15mins, and it's to get back to a day of pain, suffering, and work.
Apr. 16th, 2004 @ 02:13 pm
|
| » Great Timing!! |
|---|
Well last night was a little rough, too much beer and not enough food is a bad combination.
So I wake up at 1:30pm with a nasty hangover, wondering why it took my 3 hours to get home when I live only 10 mins away... go downstairs, find some mail for me... open it, and it's the university saying they'd like to interview me!
Normally that would be great, but the interview is in a week and 2 days, I have no portfolio, no work to put in the portfolio, no time to ask my teacher for help as its the easter holidays for another week, and not enough mental brainpower to do any work right now ^^ This next week is going to be lots of fun.
What I'm Doing: Still farting around on Photoshop, this thing is driving me mad.
Game I'm Playing: Neverwinternights
How I'm feeling: *stomach rumbles*
Apr. 10th, 2001 @ 04:17 pm
|
| » Hey boys and girls ^^ |
|---|
What a better time to start a journal than when I should be in college!!!
Despite being the easter holidays, I "should" be in college seeing as im *cough*behind*cough*... but anime and drunken mario kart day was 2 days ago and its left me ill (damn gone off milk, it tricked me).
Today has been eventful, new pc came so ive been enjoying neverwinter nights again (only this time i can see shadows, ooohhhhhh). Parents went away on holiday so im in charge of the little sprogs, I got a hold of metal gear solid: twin snakes and have enjoyed that, and ive decided that my cat is going to speak one of these days. I also just amused myself by telling he pizza boy he can keep te change, he now has an extra shiny penny.
Best go do some work i think, by work i mean kill a few aliens and have a cigarette. See you next time kiddies!
Funny quotes of the day:
Ashleigh: "I like binoculars, remind me of cauliflower"
Martin: "Ive invented MSN sex! Click my button, play with my joystick, change my 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard drive"
Tegan: "I saw a dead pigeon today, I thought it was a rabbit with wings"
Apr. 8th, 2001 @ 09:33 pm
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
eartht0ne's journal